YOUR RESOURCE FOR COMMUNITY, SUPPORT, AND GROWTH.
Â
My Secure Self
MEMBERSHIP
    Â
Your weekly support guide to help you overcome self-sabotaging attachment patterns that keep you from finding, maintaining, or confidently ending relationships.
Â
Led by Jessica Da Silva
 Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Attachment Coach
Â
$89
Â
Cancel at anytime.
ACCESS THE MEMBERSHIP 🎉Do you find yourself struggling in dating or relationships?
Â
- Maybe you crave love but feel anxious it will slip away.
- Maybe you want connection but fear losing yourself in it.
- Maybe you're drawn to intimacy, but pull back or shut down once it starts to feel real.
You may be tired of repeating the same patterns but unsure how to truly change them.
You’ve taken the attachment quizzes, read the relationship books, perhaps gone to therapy—but still craving a more structured and action oriented approach to becoming securely attached.
If you are ready to find and build the kind of relationship that makes you feel happy, supported, loved, and safe, you're in the right place!
My name is Jessica Da Silva and I’m a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Attachment Coach helping adults end unhealthy relationship patterns by embracing the mindset and habits of secure attachment.
After personally experiencing numerous unhealthy relationships that I was equally responsible for, I was determined to heal the insecurities driving my unhealthy behavioral patterns. Growing up with a predominantly fearful avoidant attachment style (leaning anxious), I would find myself easily triggered within relationships. Jealousy, worry, overthinking, and control were common experiences that would provoke much of my self-sabotage. And because I had no understanding of these internal challenges, let alone how to navigate them in a healthy way, I would instantly become reactive and therefore behave in ways that were counterproductive to creating the healthy, secure relationships I deeply craved.
Attachment research shows us that our earliest relationship dynamics greatly influence how we experience love as adults. These earlier experiences (whether with caregivers, romantic partners, family members or friends) become the relational blueprints we subconsciously follow and recreate, until we make the conscious choice to shift our internal working models.
After ending a very painful relationship years ago, I decided to continue my education in psychology by enrolling in a Master’s Program for Marriage and Family Therapy and immersing myself in the world of self-development.
I worked with children, families, individuals, and couples to find healthier ways of relating to themselves and those around them.
These transformative years helped me realize:
Our past does not have to define our future.
We can train our brains to work for us rather than against us…
Learning healthier ways of responding versus reacting are pivotal for ending self-sabotage…
We can 100% learn to become more securely attached by implementing small and effective shifts into our daily lives.
Since then, I have branched out into attachment coaching, helping thousands of people transform the way they experience love through practical, evidence-based strategies that I'll be teaching you within the membership experience.
NO MORE JUST TALKING ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. LET’S DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT :)
Whether you're single, in a relationship, or considering ending one, this membership offers ongoing support, valuable insights, and practical tools to help you navigate the complexities of love and connection.
Testimonial
WHICH ATTACHMENT STYLE DO YOU STRUGGLE WITH?
Anxious Attachment Style
You long for connection but fear abandonment, making it hard to trust that love will last. Moments of disconnection, distance, rejection, or inconsistency can trigger intense overthinking, jealousy, and worry. You might find yourself becoming clingy or overly focused on your partner's needs, often neglecting your own in an effort to keep the relationship intact. Deep down, you may feel unsupported or unloved—even when you're not alone.
Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style
You tend to stay on the surface, often deflecting from deeper emotional intimacy—even though part of you may deeply crave it. Being alone feels safer and more manageable than the vulnerability that comes with close, committed relationships. These protective patterns can make you appear withdrawn, emotionally closed off, or rigid when it comes to love. Your partners often seek more emotional depth than you feel equipped to give, which can leave you feeling like a disappointment or emotionally overwhelmed.
Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style
You experience both anxious and avoidant patterns, creating a tug-of-war within your heart. You deeply crave love and have so much to give, yet you don’t feel truly safe in it. There’s a lingering fear that others will betray, abandon, or take advantage of you. As a result, you may find yourself drawing love in while simultaneously pushing it away—wanting connection, but fearing it at the same time. This inner conflict often leaves you feeling alone, guarded, and unsure of how to trust or let love in fully.
Secure Attachment Style
You approach love with optimism, even through setbacks and heartbreak. Relationships feel safe, trusting, and dependable. You’re comfortable relying on others as well as yourself, and you navigate closeness without fear. You feel confident in your ability to give love—and equally secure in your ability to receive it.
WHAT YOU WILL GAIN IN THIS MEMBERSHIP:
- Â Master the ins and outs of your attachment style.
-  Break your self-sabotaging relationship patterns.
-  Embrace your confident, Secure Self!
-  Find relationships that are compatible with your attachment needs for long term fulfillment.
- Â Build and maintain secure connections through essential relational skills
-  Say "no" to partnerships that no longer serve your growth.
-  Gain the wisdom and discernment to make healthier choices for your life and future.
What members are saying...
Joe
The experience has been transformative for me in helping me better understand my attachment system and how to build more security within myself.
Meghan
My experience was amazing. The modules were so insightful and I learned so much about attachment/triggers and how to work through them. Jessica has so much knowledge and has helped me so much.
Brittany
My experience was extremely positive. I gained a lot more confidence in my secure attachment and myself. Additional gains: Not feeling alone (community), outlining my values, understanding my triggers, and seeing my past patterns based on relationships.
MEMBERSHIP DETAILS...
1 MONTHLY Q&A
Ask questions and receive direct coaching from me every first Wednesday of the month @ 5:30pm PST. I'll personally provide you with guidance and practices to address your needs. All calls will be recorded for replay at anytime incase you miss.
1 MONTHLY WORKSHOP
Each month, I’ll create a personalized workshop based on the group’s specific needs, covering all things relationships, dating, heartbreak and tools for cultivating secure attachment. All workshops will be recorded and available for replay.
BI-WEEKLY CHALLENGES
Join challenges designed to help you apply the tools and knowledge to your daily life and begin cultivating healthier, more secure habits.
ONLINE COMMUNITY PLATFORM
-Weekly Q&A form
-Meditations, worksheets, guides
-Connect with members
-Meeting links and call replays
BONUS:
MY SECURE SELF E-COURSE
Dive deeper into the 6-part My Secure Self training, focused on the core pillars of secure attachment. Each month, you’ll gain access to a new e-course module, complete with videos and exercises to support your growth.
MY SECURE SELF 6 CORE PILLARS:
You will be guided through these approaches and evidence-based practices.
PILLAR 1:
UNDERSTAND YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE
In order to make the changes we want to see within ourselves and our relationships, it’s crucial to first understand how we experience love and why we do the things we do.
Attachment Theory gives us a framework and a language to understand our thoughts, feelings and behaviors when it comes to matters of the heart.
This pillar will help you gain awareness into the four attachment styles, the root causes and how they impact the way you experience dating and relationships.
PILLAR 2:
CREATE YOUR SECURE SELF BLUEPRINT
Get clear on the secure version of yourself by creating a secure self blueprint that aligns with your unique relationship values and goals. This will help you make decisions from a place of authenticity and discernment versus fear and doubt. These tools will serve as your navigation system.
PILLAR 3:
CONNECT TO YOUR FEELINGS AND NEEDSÂ
Â
Relationships require us to learn the language of feelings and needs. Developing this awareness not only helps us better understand ourselves and what we need, but also equips us with the tools to clearly communicate our experiences, ask for support, and build emotional intimacy. These skills are also essential for navigating conflict in a healthy and constructive way.
PILLAR 4:
REFRAME YOURÂ FEARFUL THOUGHTS INTO SECURE BELIEF SYSTEMS
Get my 4-Step Secure Reframe Process to help you shift insecure thinking patterns into secure, supportive belief systems.
Our thoughts can easily derail us—leading to overthinking and behaviors that harm our well-being and relationships.
Instead of giving your mind that kind of power, learn how to recognize, challenge, and reframe insecurities into more productive perspectives. This will help you feel more emotionally regulated and make healthier, more aligned decisions.
PILLAR 5:
BOUNDARIES FOR SELF-EMPOWERMENT
Boundaries are a form of self-empowerment.
They allow you to feel safe, respected, and grounded within relationships. In order to truly thrive in connection with others, it’s essential to understand and honor your personal limits. Learn to identify your boundaries, build confidence in communicating them clearly, and develop the emotional resilience to uphold them—even when it feels uncomfortable. This practice strengthens self-trust and invites more authentic, respectful relationships into your life.
PILLAR 6:
SELF-REPARENTING FOR HEALING AND LASTING CONFIDENCE
Whether you are single, dating or in a relationship, cultivating a secure attachment with yourself first and foremost is KEY--As your external experiences mirror your internal experiences.
By learning to understand, love and trust yourself, you are more open and receptive to healthier and more fulfilling relationship dynamics.
In this process, you will learn to:
- Love and care for yourself.
- Create more positive self-talk.
- Increase your self-worth and self-esteem.
- Become more interdependent (versus co-dependent or hyper-independent).
- Learn to regulate your nervous system.
- Learn to trust and rely on yourself.
Testimonial
MEMBERSHIP PRICE
$89
  You're free to cancel at anytime.
MORE MEMBER EXPERIENCES!
Cosette
I really miss our Wednesday sessions. I just recently started dating someone. It's been a little over three weeks but it's going really well. I really value your input and I cannot reiterate enough how helpful all of your content has been in navigating this new relationship. I am very happy and at the same time challenged by this new person in my life. I've been able to implement a lot of the concepts I learned in your program which has allowed me to approach this relationship in a more mature, calm and centered manner. I honestly don't think this would have been possible without all that I've learned from you and the members of the group I got to meet as well.Â
Beth
It was such a strength and encouragement to be part of this program. It allowed me to explore and open up a lot of my inner world that I otherwise was left to primarily navigate alone. I was able to understand attachment at a very personal level with others who shared such surprisingly similar aspects of emotions and thoughts. Jessica brought insight and answers and helped inform and guide our belief systems around our worth, needs and relational aspirations.
Rhiannon
It was so helpful. Having the support of the group as well as the empathy and guidance from Jessica at such an impactful time in my life, I'm forever grateful for. I've gained a new found certainty and security in myself which I didn't know I was lacking. I found a new language and understanding of myself and my behaviour which then empowered me as I learned tools to help myself change in more positive ways. I feel more calm, more secure, not in a rush or panic anymore, not afraid to hang out alone or be with me, in fact I'm quite grateful for it. I actually can't believe the transformation I've had in just 3 months, I didn't think it was possible.
Paula
I gained more information on my attachment style and ideas for self-soothing. It also helped me process a difficult break up with I really appreciate.
