My Secure Self
2.0
A 3-month group coaching experience to help you overcome self-sabotaging attachment patterns that hinder your ability to find, maintain or end relationships by embracing your Secure Self.
Created by Jessica Da Silva
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Attachment Coach
ENROLL NOW
do you struggle when it comes to matters of the heart?
- Maybe you want love but are terrified of it leaving you…
- Maybe you want love but are afraid of it consuming you...
- Maybe you want love but feel conflicted when you have it…
You may have it "together" in other aspects of your life, but when it comes to love, you have a hard time navigating the challenges and insecurities that naturally come with the territory.
The goal is to understand your triggers and learn to navigate them in healthier ways so that your actions align with the outcomes you want to experience.
My name is Jessica Da Silva and I’m a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Attachment Coach helping adults end their self-sabotaging attachment patterns that hinder their ability to find, maintain or end relationships by embracing their secure selves.
After personally experiencing numerous unhealthy relationship dynamics, I was determined to heal the insecurities driving my unhealthy attachment patterns. I've always deeply desired a stable and loving relationship but didn't have the best examples of how to create and, most importantly, maintain one. I knew that to evolve from my prior ways of experiencing love, I would have to make myself and my healing a priority.
Let's just say it's WAY less painful to point the finger at others than to acknowledge that we are the common denominator in every relationship…
After ending my last (and final) unhealthy relationship years ago, I decided to continue my education in psychology by enrolling in a Master's Program for Marriage and Family Therapy and immerse myself in the world of self-development.
I was passionate about understanding human behavior and why we repeat similar relationship patterns. I was fed up with re-creating the same painful cycles and wanted to experience harmony and stability not only in my romantic relationships but also in my friendships and in my relationship with myself.
I worked with individuals, children, families, and couples to find healthier ways of relating to themselves and those around them.
These transformative years helped me realize:
Our past does not have to define our future…
We can train our brains to work for us rather than against us...
We can absolutely learn to become securely attached by shifting our mindset and learning healthy relational skills.
Since then, I have branched out into attachment coaching, helping thousands of people transform the way they experience love through practical, evidence-based strategies that I'll be teaching you in this program.
NO MORE JUST TALKING ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. LET'S DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
If you are looking for a solution focused and action oriented approach to healing, coaching is for you!
Whether you are single, dating, in a relationship or looking to end one, attachment coaching will provide you with valuable insights and tools to navigate the complexities of human relationships.
So what’s all the hype with attachment theory and why is it so important?
Attachment Theory is a highly recognized evolutionary and psychological approach based on the scientific fact that all humans are wired for attachment.
What this means is that we all have a biological need for love and belonging….
And according to extensive research, we experience love and attachment in one (or a variation) of these four styles: Anxious Preoccupied, Dismissive Avoidant, Fearful Avoidant and Secure Attachment Style.
These attachment styles are developed in our earlier relationships, with people we depended on or had an emotional bond to (i.e. parents, caregivers, partners, friends, family) following us into adulthood---Hence why we find ourselves in cyclical and familiar relationship dynamics, time and time again.
Attachment theory gives us insight into:
- Why we choose certain partners.
- Why we repeat specific relationship patterns.
- Why we think, feel and behave the way we do when it comes to love and relationships.
- Our relationship triggers and needs.
- A framework to becoming more securely attached.
Attachment Style breakdown…
Anxious Preoccupied Attachment Style
If love or emotional intimacy felt fleeting or conditional in your earlier relationships, then you are most likely hypervigilant in your relationships to anything that may indicate abandonment. Things like rejection, disconnection, distance and inconsistencies will cause you to overthink, excessively worry, be overly dependent, feel “not good enough” and over compensate to keep the relationship at float.
Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style
If love or emotional intimacy felt absent or neglectful in your earlier relationships, then you most likely steer clear of deeper commitments or emotional intimacy. It feels much safer and practical to be alone rather than to exhibit the vulnerability required in a more committed relationship. These fears cause you to be more withdrawn, emotionally closed off and rigid when it comes to matters of the heart.
Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style
If love or emotional intimacy felt chaotic or unstable in your earlier relationships, then you are most likely weary and distrusting of love. On one hand you desire it, and on the other, you’re skeptical of it. This ambivalence causes you to be very indecisive and protective when it comes to matters of the heart.
Secure Attachment Style
If love or emotional intimacy felt safe and predictable in your earlier relationships, then you mostly likely have a positive outlook on love. Love feels trusting and dependable. You know how to meet your needs and can be empathetic to the needs of others. Not only do you feel confident in your ability to give love, but you’re just as secure in your ability to receive it.
So how does one become more securely attached?
The great news is that anyone can develop a secure attachment style! In psychology, we call this earned secure attachment.
By understanding your attachment patterns and implementing healthier ways of relating to yourself and others, you can literally rewire your brain to experience love in more secure ways.
Do you want my proven framework, packed with insights and tools, to begin shifting your attachment patterns in real time!?
I GOT YOU.
Introducing...
My Secure Self 2.0
A 3-month group coaching program for all attachment styles, teaching you actionable steps to overcome your self-sabotaging attachment patterns by embracing your Secure Self™.
I break down complex scientific concepts into six practical modules that you can easily implement into your daily life to create transformative shifts!
ENROLL NOWTestimonial
"I kept having a terrible time with relationships, and I was really kind of embarrassed about it.. I couldn't figure this out on my own, so I signed up for Jessica's program and honestly it was one of the best thing I've ever done! "
-Megan K.
THE PROGRAM includes:
- An e-course with 6 modules comprised of comprehensive videos guiding you through the 6-pillars of the My Secure Self Method™.
- Step-by-step PDF worksheets and guides to enhance and support your learning process.
- Guided meditation and visualization exercises to re-program the subconscious mind + somatic experiencing techniques to regulate the nervous system.
- 1 weekly group coaching call during a 3-month period on Wednesdays @ 5:30pm PST. You can submit your attachment related questions ahead of time and I will answer them on the call. Calls will be recorded incase you can't attend.
- Access to Slack App community to ask questions, share reflections and receive custom feedback.
What’s inside each course:
MODULE 1
UNDERSTANDING THE FOUR ATTACHMENT STYLES
In order to make the changes we want to see within ourselves and our relationships, it’s crucial to first understand how we experience love and why we do the things we do.
Attachment Theory gives us a framework and a language to understand our thoughts, feelings and behaviors when it comes to matters of the heart.
This module will help you gain awareness into the four attachment styles, the root causes and how they impact the way you experience dating and relationships.
MODULE 2
ALIGN WITH YOUR SECURE SELF
In this module, you will learn what a secure attachment looks like and scientific proof stating that you can also shift from an insecure to a secure attachment style.
In this section you will get crystal clear on the secure version of yourself by creating a secure self blueprint that aligns with your relationship values and goals. This will help you make decisions from a place of authenticity and truth versus fear and doubt. These tools will serve as your navigation system.
MODULE 3
IDENTIFY SELF-SABOTAGING PATTERNS
Become aware of how your attachment trauma manifests in your thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Understanding your attachment trauma is a vital step toward personal healing, improved relationships, and overall emotional well-being. By recognizing and addressing these patterns, you can foster healthier interactions and build a more fulfilling life.
MODULE 4
BREAK SELF-SABOTAGING PATTERNS
We break our patterns by changing our behavior. In this module, you will learn how to be proactive versus reactive when navigating your insecurities.
Implement emotional regulation skills. Co-regulation skills. Identify + communicate feelings and needs. Learn conflict resolution skills.
MODULE 5
REFRAMING YOUR INSECURE THOUGHTS INTO SECURE BELIEF SYSTEMS
In this module, you will go from becoming aware of your sabotaging thinking patterns to doing something about them.
In this section, you will get my 4-Step Secure Reframe Process to help you shift your insecure thinking patterns into secure belief systems.
These steps are comprised of some of my favorite evidence-based approaches: Mindfulness, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, and Solution Focused Therapy. These steps are simple to implement yet profoundly effective. It's a tool you will use with any challenging thought that comes your way.
MODULE 6
PRACTICE SELF-LOVE
Whether you are single, dating or in a relationship, cultivating a secure attachment with yourself first and foremost is KEY--As your external experiences mirror your internal experiences.
By learning to understand, love and trust yourself, you are more open and receptive to healthier and more fulfilling relationship dynamics.
In this process, you will learn to:
- Love and care for yourself.
- Create more positive self-talk.
- Learn to accept yourself.
- Increase your self-esteem.
- Re-work bad habits.
- Become more interdependent (versus co-dependent or hyper-independent)
- Learn to better navigate your anxiety and relational stress.
What students are saying...
Becky B.
I can see how triggers affect me now, how they would have affected me in the past, and how i want them to affect me in the future. This course is the forward-moving push I need to keep making progress!
Rachel K.
It's been super helpful and i would do it again in a heartbeat...I liked that the course began with the concept that, "we can change and that this doesn't need to stay like this." i realized I have a lot of contributing trauma that i didn't even know was a thing just doing the assignments and how abnormal some of my childhood and the behaviour I'he used for survival are. Doing therapy in addition to the course has been super helpful for me.
Johanna H.
This course is just what I've been looking for. It has helped me to understand why I(re)act the way I do in different situations and how to meet my own needs in order to have better outcomes in my relationships.
By the end of this course, you will have:
- Mastered the ins and outs of your attachment style.
- Become more clear on what is coming from your insecure versus secure self.
- Learned the tools to navigate your insecurities and respond versus react.
- Aligned with your relationship needs and values.
- Cultivated emotional stability and healthy conflict resolution skills.
- Acquired an overall secure approach to dating and relationships.
